all it took was that Walk towards HIM.

It's been a year since I bravely did something I've always wanted to do. That is to join the yearly "Alay Lakad" activity done by Catholics every Holy Week.

Alay Lakad is a way of Sacrifice as part of our Catholic belief where people starts to walk from Quiapo church to Antipolo Cathedral. You can actually start from your own place for example myself, I started from my workplace in Ortigas.

Since nobody wants to accompany me because it is after work, I bravely threaded the stretch of Ortigas Extension Alone. It was a meditating walk I must say. I got to reflect on what my life has been for the past years. I pray for enlightenment as I am about to make the biggest decision in my life. I look back, then I look forward. I don't see anything clear then, but a growing hope is slowly exciting me with something. I have to believe a major blessing is coming my way.

It was not a walk in the park and it was indeed tiring knowing it's a long way to go but all of it were negligible as I took the time observing the group of people around me. I wonder what  their real intentions are in participating in activities like this.

I was alone but I never felt scared because I believe I'm guided.

Half down the road, a stranger approached me. I thank God for times like these because He always send me angels. We talked and walked and waited for their friends. Turns out they are a group of friends who used to do these every year. Now I've got new friends and they led me to the stations of the cross.

First Station: Jesus is condemned to death.

Jesus is tried and condemned by the Sanhedrin, mocked and beaten and is condemned for making the claim of being the Son of God

I will never forget how I've felt those goosebumps on my skin while I listen to the recorded voices of the characters who played on this scene. The mocking, the shouting and the cruelness of people to Christ were heart wrenching. But Jesus just let them be. I felt ashamed of myself. There was a point in my life when I was so concerned on my name being dragged into someone else's insecurities. My name was tagged with malicious and false accusations and it hurt me and made me angry. I followed my feelings instead of letting my feelings follow what I am supposed to do. I realized Christ's sufferings are far unimaginable than what I have been through. So on that station I lifted up to Christ my name completely. It made me cry and His warm embrace felt really good. 

The stations of the cross reminds me of my own journey. Though I have surrendered all my pains before year 2012 began, sometimes my faith still get tested. But unlike Jesus, I sometimes still question how people can be so cruel and how they deserve such pitiful life with the choices they make. I'm still carrying new crosses every now and then. But this time I believe Jesus is carrying it for me. I used to think of many things on resolving my problems and all it took was that Walk towards HIM.

What will it take you to follow HIM?

God's own time

Three years ago, I was applying to recruitment agencies hoping to work in Singapore. I passed my interviews with flying colors. But the challenge was the placement fee. We were in a phase where I and my sisters were struggling financially due to a lot of financial obligations when our mom got hospitalized and passed away.


So plan A was scratched. Plan B was to review board exams and go back to medical field. Alongside was our direct selling business which was a huge hit. I was even promoted to Account Manager. Imagine myself working full time at night, running to my review class the next day then rushing to get orders from Avon which always have long queue of the dealers trying to get all the stocks on sale. I'm lucky if I still have 4 hours left to sleep before running again to work. This has been my routine for 6 months. It was no wonder when I finally felt its toll on my health.


I prayed that wherever God wanted me to be, and then let it be. It did not occur to me that God is a generous God. We need to be specific on what we really want. Though He knows what is in our hearts, we ourselves should be sure of what we are praying for.


Clearly at this point, my review class was not my priority. I was enjoying all the benefits we get from our part time business and the prestige of being the boss is overwhelming because of the perks. I was a bit confident on my exam because from experience, I made it to the top 4% of my batch. I neglected the fact that it was years ago when I graduated.


I realized that God has better plans. But I also have to do my part. The only thing I know right is the fact that I am good in juggling budget and no matter how small I was still able to make ends meet. I decided to seek financial knowledge and spiritual guide. I admit my budgeting skills is not enough. I have to get a full grasp of any information that can pull me up from financial problem.


That's when I started to attend all kinds of financial seminar there is. I followed Bo Sanchez because of his Truly rich club teachings. I even enrolled myself in an online class about internet marketing. I was so busy then. I thought this is going to be ok. Little did I know, another struggle is coming. I had to transfer to another account because the one I'm currently in is ending support. Now that means goodbye to comfort zone.


Fast forward, I immediately got accepted to a new account. This time, I really have to do real troubleshooting! I'm blessed to have been assigned to a good team manager and nice colleagues. In a span of 1 year, I already learned a lot of technical stuff.


I must say that year was the most challenging. A friend betrayed me, my dad got diagnosed with prostate disorder and his health card is not covering his surgery, I was accused of buying a guy's attention which was really a big lie, a crazy stalker had been posting malicious stuffs about me and even dragged my kids name on her insanity, financially I'm barely keeping up, I had a late bloomer allergy, and my younger sister getting drifted by some unwelcome influence.


Despite all these, God never left my side. There were times I'd fall into sin through actions and thoughts when my faith is getting challenged.  But God never gave up on me. He still protected me with His loving embrace from people who's trying to hurt me by giving me more true friends, more loving family and relatives. He showed me who my real friends are in times of trouble and made me realized I have many. He gave me opportunities to empower myself more, learn more and socialize more. He showed me the talents I've been trying to hide all these years. He blessed my dad with caring doctors and enough financial resources to support his medicines. He continuously blessed my sister Sofia with courage, strength and wisdom to steer right my decisions when I am confused and undecided. He blessed us with people who believes in our dreams and did not hesitate to support our family plans. He led me to my special caring group who definitely made a difference in my life. They confirmed that what I was trying to live for were right and only God can judge me for He knows what is in my heart. He blessed me with good memories I've shared with my office mates including the hilarious ones. I've been blessed with the knowledge that not everything is about me and not get too sensitive with trivial things that doesn't include me. More importantly, I was blessed with a forgiving heart. My Jesus encounter experience graced me with a new heart. A heart free from all the hurt it had been through. Now my heart is ready to trust and welcome new friends.

Now I'm here in Singapore and ready to face new challenges. Before I came here I prepared myself and my kids on what's ahead of us. I thank God because I have smart kids and trusted family members. This was never an easy decision. Life in the Philippines was so much fun in my workplace and especially at home. But God has put me through many life challenges and overcoming those struggles made me a better person. I think God decided for me that it's time to move on.


I trusted Him, believing God has a big birthday gift for me. He never fails with His promises. I had sleepless nights because I'm worried I might get off load by Immigration but with just a simple smile, the officer stamped my passport without any questions asked. I was able to celebrate my birthday happily in SG with my wonderful Tito Bong. When I started looking for a job it was like I'm still on shift. I am online everyday applying for every job description that fits my qualification. On the second week I asked God to direct me on the site where I can apply so I can already claim my gift. The next day I got a call from a recruiter but she was asking for a fee. Though we have a budget for that, I took my friends and my Tito's advice to decline. Then the next day another recruiter called me for an interview. Then the next day the client interviewed me and finally discussed working environment and schedule. They have already scanned my documents so I am feeling optimistic already. I was asked for 2 Team Managers who can give a background check. They gave me really awesome recommendations. I must say that I always have good working relationships with my colleagues. I believe in not burning bridges, but  instead connect and make more true friends.


Waiting for the approved pass gave me mixed emotions. I had to make myself productive just to calm myself. I even cleaned the bathroom unscheduled. I kept my Inbox open the whole morning waiting for some good news. I fell asleep while waiting. I woke up looking at the subject: medical exam for S pass. At that moment I want to cry. GOD finally gave me my birthday gift. God really never fails.


God never fails. Looking back, all those struggles are just temporary. He uses those challenges to empower us, strengthen us and make us realize that God is always true to his promises. Even though we fail Him many times, His love for us never fails. We just have to reach out and call on Him, try our best to follow Him, and most of all believe because God never fails. I'm a living testimony that God does things according to His plan and He does it in His own sweet time. God never fails.

Thank you Lord. Make me an instrument of your never ending love and grace. 

 

The Power of Prayer

I've read a lot of stories where they prayed for their partners. Unsurprisingly, it was given. Why am I not surprised? Because I believe in the power of prayer. 

It is my usual advise to those who badly wanted their relationship  to work. Sadly, God has a different way of answering prayers. If it's not for us, He gives us something better than what we are asking for. Hence, the heartbreaks and the coming of a new love.

I pray for a lot of things but mostly not for myself but for my family and friends. I haven't really asked anything for myself. I'm pretty much contented with what I have. My awesome kids are already an overwhelming blessing that I could not ask for more. I must have done something right in the past for me to deserve them.

My friend Apple gave me a small novena booklet. It is a small booklet where you can list down all of your wishes and prayer. I've been wanting to own one but I decided to give it to my sister instead. I still don't have a list of what I'm going to ask for anyway. 

I then realized that though I may not be looking for any relationship, I should start praying for that one person God had prepared for me. When it comes to saving prayer, God is really fast to answer. It was a moving event in my life last year when I experienced His loving protection over me from someone who have tried to ruin my optimism in life. Now when it comes to lovelife, I believe He is taking time to prepare that someone and all we have to do is prepare ourselves too while waiting for that time to come.

The reason why I don't dwell from the past is because I've always believed that there are so many fishes in the sea.   I'm an easy prey because I am single and free spirited. The challenge is to turn these fishes into friends so they won't take advantage of my vulnerability. Sometimes the temptation is too strong especially when you are enjoying each other's company and the level of ideas and conversations are strongly matched. Now while I'm on the verge of really falling and giving my commitment this time, I came across this wonderful quote: 

"Here's the Truth, You will only fight temptation to the degree that you value yourself. If you don't value yourself, you won't fight."

I guess God is extending the answer to my prayer. As we struggle not to cross boundaries, the friendship remains. We promised to stay friends whatever happens and that means a lot to me. I should continue to pray for I believe God will eventually give me the person who is a lot like me and would love me because I'm not an option but a valid choice.  Besides, I strongly believe I deserve nothing less.

How Much Do You Love Yourself?

Are you praying for the right person?

20 Blessings and 11 Lessons this 2011 (part2)

So to start the year right, I am now decluttering all the bad vibes and pain I've been through for the past year. Let's pour it out and just take the lessons so we won't commit the same error again this coming year. I'm a fast learner you see:)

11 Lessons

1. Pointing fingers just point those 3 fingers back to the accuser.
Now I totally understood why I am being accused of bribing, making up stories and most especially pulling out my wallet. (haha, I don't even have a wallet). The universe has a way of bringing back those people who knows. Funny coz they appeared one at a time, each at the right place and time. Thank you guys.
And just recently, I was accused of pretending to be someone in FB and sending a PM about asking to put down malicious posts about me. I'm a transparent person so pretending will never be in my list of favorite activities. I think these people will never really comprehend unless they open their hearts and mind. And yes, it just goes back to: pointing fingers just point those 3 fingers back to the accuser.

2. My payroll goes directly to my kids' bank accounts so I have to do online transfer each time I need to pay bills. I don't bring my ATM at work, only daily allowance for my fare (P100-200 a day) coz this prevents me from buying food outside. I bring lunch to save more. My phone is an old Nokia model 2300 series I think (haha, I'm not even sure). My new clothes and shoes were all sponsored by the sisters. Now I get to use my old clothes because I've lost weight. I'm still paying an emergency loan for my kid's tuition fees. The kid's budget for food is stretched because they love to eat and they are boys:p. I shoulder house bills and all my kids' expenses. Bottomline? I don't have enough cash to buy stuffs for myself, (not my passion either) let alone spend for someone not related to me. Now I learned that if I can't lower down expenses, I have to increase my sources. Time to accept online writing gigs again while baking and selling goodies on the side.

3. Comprehension gets all blurry when the heart is full of negative emotions. I always choose my words when speaking or even writing. I was brought up that way. I believe that you can never take back words you've said. You'll just regret later on because what comes out of the mouth clearly reflects what's inside of you and what you are in times of struggle and height of emotions. Your way with words totally defines you. I'm careful with the words my kids hear and read because parents are supposed to be good example of their kids. The reader, albeit the article was written in clear simple words will always choose how they want to interpret the message even if the picture (not literally) is very clear. Now like the bible where people have different interpretations as they receive the message, you'll just have to trust that whatever message they choose to get, serve its purpose.

4. I learned that it's easier to accept the fact that somebody lied to me and made me believed that the effort and love they are showing are true. It happens. We can always forgive ourselves for believing it too. What I realized is that being used as an escapegoat for something I'm not aware of and being the subject of made up lies is really unforgivable. Betrayal is already something but having no balls to admit one's fault  and using others to cover up or save face is too much already.

5. People may call you names, degrade you, demoralize you or even test your faith. They would even send you text mesages using different numbers and pretend they are someone else. Don't mind the mediocre things they do. Just continue to strive harder to do the right thing. Go back to the right path and continue living according to God's will. Remember that saints have been trough tortures worst than we do but they held on to their faith. Not that I'm claiming to be a saint (disclaimer). But leaving the past sins behind and starting anew is far better than lingering on it. Remember that all these sacrifices are for the Lord who is the sole source of all the happiness we get here on earth. I learned that taking the right path is far better than dwelling on mistakes. I'm already near you JC, is this my final test?

A name is just a name. What's important is that at the end of the day, whatever name you have been Christened with, the most important question is: Have you served the Lord today? Have you done your purpose? Did you use His blessings to bless other people? I learned that the stain people try to put on your name is not important in the eyes of the Lord. You are what's important to Him.

6. If you don't feel like you're into it from the very start, STOP! Not all projects are meant to be finished. Project Preacher was unsuccessful because I did not give enough attention to it. I thought it just needed a little reminder. I was lost in the distractions and facade. JC terminated the project before I got drowned on it. Thank you.

Someone texted me this: "It's not true that when you are single, you are free from pain. Actually it's more painful because being single while loving somebody who can never be yours is an endless torture." I guess this is true not only for singles who's life revolves only around one person but also for those in a relationship where you are just an option. I cannot relate because when I decided to be single, I have detached myself completely from any of my past. I bravely went through all the stages of letting go. I'm a cancerian. I hide in my shell for sometime then goes out renewed. This resulted to an empowered me. I focused on my responsibilities as a mom and reflected on what I wanted to achieve. I am just like my mom. We don't dwell on our past, instead we move on to what's better. It's just a matter of deciding whether to make that choice or just stay where you are. Believe me, there's more to life than being in misery.

7. If God put you through it, He will be the one to pull you through it. I asked that person to read that controversial letter in an orange envelope at home and that I wanted to be alone this time.

" I was in it for the fun part initially but you eventually convinced me to give it a try. I did give it a shot. As you said there's nothing to lose, I'll just be loved. Guess what? I may have not lost anything but I don't really feel loved at all. Instead, I felt confused and hurt all at the same time. I'm confused because you've changed."

"....I don't want to hurt you or keep you holding on."

While he stayed in our fave place, I remember going straight to church after I gave that goodbye letter. I've asked guidance and strength to be firm this time. I don't want to be in that kind of relationship where love is not the real core of it. I don't feel loved because that's not the kind of love I had in my heart.  I felt it's becoming worldly, sinful and out of focus. I'm getting dragged out of the right direction. That is not my definition of Love. Besides, my heart longs for something else. I learned that whatever you asked from God, if it is for good, He will answer you right away. He saved me that same week when I got nearly lost track again.

8. Stick to your standards. JC always humour me when it comes to my preferences. I've been praying for Mr. blue eyes, but I'm not asking for it to happen soon. I'm still busy planting seeds of faith for my financial freedom. I'm looking at 10 more years coz by that time the boys are all big enough for me to travel anywhere. A travel buddy and a musician with dazzling blue eyes (seriously!) would be perfect. And since I'm used to negotiating with my kids through choices, that's what JC used on me. It was like: I'm giving you a Japanese, right now, just here close to you but he's a real work in progress or if you still want the blue eyed travelling buddy, you have to wait 10 years. Curiosity killed the cat. I was challenged with the project because of the preacher thing. I thought I'm heading to spiritual enlightenment but I almost got killed instead. EQ tested and almost failed. Gotcha! Lesson learned: Stick to your standards, patience always reap great rewards.

9. I learned not to ignore those little signs that makes you stop and think. I had those episodes where everything just all came back to me. Those moments where I shrug off those little signs of warning waiting to be noticed. Thank God I've got boys. I fear that if I had a daughter I'll be more careful and watchful. I wouldn't want her to be near anyone who doesn't know how to respect women. It might just be the greatest mistake I'll ever have. I only learned recently that a pattern is happening and those involved are the same people. One who takes advantage, the one who never learned and a confused victim. They were even introduced to each other after.  Bless these people.  Remember those stories used against me? My friend is bound to experience that same dilemna. That is, if discovered.

10. Pen is mightier than the sword. Our national hero is a classic example. Truth written will always be way better than lies spoken. I'm not spontaneous because I choose my words well. I'm very softspoken. I refrain from saying words that can hurt. I can be fierce but I don't want to take back words coz the pain it can cause can't be taken back. So I choose to say only the truth. It will hurt like hell (as described by others who always experience it but never learned) but it will give you the strength if you take it as a learning experience. Funny how some people equate telling the Truth as "paninira" when the root cause of all are the lies and made up stories being fed by that person. I learned that it's never a good idea to argue with a person who personally admitted being low in moral values.

11. I learned that what I'm going through is incomparable with what others are experiencing right now. People can always choose to lie and hurt others. They can choose to live in misery for all they want. These are things we don't have control of. But we can always choose to do worthwhile things instead. So to drown all those negative vibes I turned all my energy in helping out with the recent CDO help campaign of my friends and spent Christmas day with kids who are afflicted with cancer. Time well spent.

There. I'm now looking forward to 2012. I'm not sure what struggles I'm going to face this time but I'm pretty sure it's going to be easy. I hope:)

Happy New Year everyone!

Have you already decluttered for real?

20 blessings and 11 lessons this 2011

Last year, same month. I remember being excited for the coming year. I was looking forward to a fruitful one. I had attended several financial seminars and enrolled myself in the online marketing class of a well known Internet marketing guru. It was a great sacrifice in my budget but I know investing in knowledge is far greater than investing in temporary stuffs. Being active online for the past 8 years, I know I'm heading to greater possibilities.
But just like every road, there will always be bumps and crossroads along the way. There are choices to make and each trials give us lessons and strength to move forward. This year proved to be one of the turning point in my life.

Let's start with my 20 Bundled Blessings.

1. Faye- the ultimate goddess in my circle of friends. A classic example of beauty, charm and wit. She gave me that piece of advise I'll never forget. "Be classy". "We're not Gretchen Barretto. We're Maricar Reyes. Choose your battles. It's the people who knows you well that matters for we are the ones who believe and knows who you really are." And after that talk, she had to follow up to remind me by sending me a private message. Thank you Faye.

2. Grace- a childhood friend. Despite her softspoken ways, she can hold a group's attention with the substance of her message. Her clear outlook in life and sense of fairness makes her one of my most admired women of my batch. Thank you for all the legal advices and all the information I needed in my quest for exposing the truth. In exchange for that, I'm trying out that Red velvet cake you asked me to bake for you. Not a bribe, mind you;p.

3. Ms. Jovie- for doing what is needed and for seeing through me. For the comforting words, for the assurance that I'm not alone in this and that everyone believes in me because they know the truth. And for the group hug. That touched me, really. I love you guys, muah!

4. Pia- I know how you wanted to reveal what you know just to get things straight if only you weren't reminded by the boyfriend. You are lucky to have one who looks after your welfare. Kudos to Glenn. We know very well what the reaction will be if you went straight ahead spilling it. (remember the recent issue about a PM on FB?) And you are very correct on that term "disgusting attitude". I could have not said it better. Still, I thank you for backing me up.

5. Chad- my running buddy. I'm saying it again...we may never have the same trips in life, but I do appreciate that you understood all my sentiments. Thanks for watching over my back, for being such a good friend, for the tequila session and for being such a gentleman.

6. Apple- for reminding me of the path I used to take. I'm finally back on track. This time no more distractions. Let's get truly rich with God's warm embrace and forgiving love. The caring group we have will always be a priority this time regardless of previous plans. This time I'm choosing this commitment.

7. Angel- for considering me as your sister. Thank you for the loyalty. As I always tell you, don't put yourself in a situation where you can no longer run away. Save the firsts to someone worth it. You're still young. Seize the moment with your passion and quest for knowledge. And yes, you have to speak up and inform the right people. Remember we are accountable of each other, friends or not. We are now seeing the pattern. This has to stop.

8.Alex and Patski- for showing that true love still exists. A love not solely focused on physical connection but on interests, friends and music. Fun couple! I always love couples who look fun instead of the mushy ones. Lots of laugh plus good times equal great partnership. Always bring out the best in each other, that should be your everyday goal. Alex, I never asked but I really appreciate what you did. Sometimes, people just need somebody to slap them with truth. You've seen all the emails, text messages and all his lies. Now the decision to accept the truth is not in our hands anymore.

9. Alton- I will always treasure in my heart that email where you bravely replied to teach the right thing instead of tolerating such ungentleman act. You are truly a man of class. Your parents have brought you up well. I remember during the early days of our training how you asked for that sisterly advise from me when you were just courting A. Such a perfect example of what goes around, comes around. If you give kindness, that's what universe gives back.

10. My team mates.
Jhong - for that daily funny horoscope from MRT newspaper. You may never said anything but I felt that concern in your words and eyes.
Kara- for that "no balls" statement. Funny but true. We won't be proud to have one like that, ayt?
Reg- we should have talked earlier. I guess I'm too late. But whatever, I'm just here for you.
Aris- Remember what I told you when we we're just new in the account? I hope you get better soon. You are missing a lot
JP- stay pure no matter what.

11. The Bikers, Paul & Chris.
I may not be as cool as you think but I appreciate your stand on the recent issue I've been through. I know deep in your hearts you feel for me. Now I find it funny how you tag such words on that person upfront. Fits him exactly. (Lols).
Looking back to our group discussions before, I agree Paul when you said that there are just some people who loves to get noticed and would do anything to get that attention. During the first few weeks, I silently let the issue pass by. But since they cannot get any reaction from me they have to use you guys to pissed me off. Oh well, their reaction have totally defined them. 

12. Ara- It was a touching experience getting to know you and what you've sacrificed for your family. I can totally relate. You'll get through that promise. I've been there and it's truly a rewarding experience. The kindness you are planting today will reap rewards for tomorrow. Have faith.

13. Elijah- for the first one to approach me at the party. As always, the truth will set us free. Thank you. Your revelation just matched what his old friend had also revealed.

14. Marge- Thanks for the honest feedback. Honestly, I didn't find it surprising when you switch from the friendly advise of "it's not worth it" to "pursue it!".  Having read all the outburst and the choice of words totally reveal one's personality, right?  Now I find it funny that you just turned into a grammar nazi suddenly. :D

15. My Homies:)
Joy- my ever bubbly friend who first asked why I chopped Mate (see link, ok?) from the pic. I haven't told her the complete story, yet she already asked me not to waste time on these kind of people but be productive instead. Haha, you know me very well Joyee. Of course, I'd rather read, blog, run, play with my kids and bake with them.

Carol- for being funny, barbaric and different. it's always nice to have someone who look and react at things differently. Thank you for all the war freak suggestions, it really made me laugh. In the end, you made me look at the situation to be petty and nonsense. Just like Joyee, I owe you guys some good chikaminute soon! Looking forward to a night of hearty laugh. :)

16. Ria- you may have been very straightforward lately but the fun I always have with you during our food trips drowned all that negative vibes. We may not be the perfect moms, we may not have all the money in the world, we may never get to buy that condo we were eyeing for, or that super big kitchen that we always dream of, but in the end  just the tought of us together is enough for me to appreciate life and true friendship. Oye, I couldn't agree more when you said the project was kinda so,so.

17. Charles- for the juicy advise and puzzling questions that always make me think,  for the feedback on my baking goodies, for the punchlines you keep on inserting in our email exchanges, for the lunch at Jollibee, and for the listening ear you always have for my never ending stories about my sisters and kids and of course about my latest discoveries and interests... I thought the reason why I met you ended a long time ago. Turns out God has a better plan for us. Let's keep the friendship at its best, no crossing of boundaries;p

18. Housemates:
Victor- I couldn't thank you enough. You have been a wonderful example to my kids not only with good manners but with good health as well. Thank you for serving veggies and seafoods. Now I learned that Ichirou is now hooked on the abs trainer, haha. As long as they do the jumping jack everyday, I'm fine with that. (Now I'm thinking of that threadmill Ichirou suggested a few months back). I promise next time I'll be very choosy to introduce just well mannered guys at home. Anyway, we can't blame them, our home feels like they'll never want to leave again.

Aisa- my ever reliable assistant:) Thank you for following all my instructions well and for taking care of our house. You will always be like a sister to us remember that. Don't ever hesitate to tell us if you need anything.

19. The sisters.
Bingle- I know how you've tried to really convince me that I'm making a big mistake from the very start. Those sisterly coffee sessions are really awesome. Next time, try harder:) You know how my kindness always cloud my way of seeing things. So instead of me pulling up this person to goodness, I was dragged down to sinfulness. I love you with all my heart and you know that. Thank you for the honest and wise judgement everytime. You may be from that famous UP, but your heart and mind are always well grounded.

 Xa- my activity buddy. Despite the 10 year age gap, we manage to do things together. Now I'm addicted to K-pop too. You were hilarious when you said I'm into J-pop instead. Na-ah! lols. I love you sister and thank you for your generosity to your nephews and for the laugh everytime. Thank you also for reminding me that we are supposed to be the kind of person we wanted to meet. I seriously needed to go back to my old self to attract decent people. Note to self- do not share family inside jokes, some people may take it seriously;D.

20. Ichirou & Jirou- for just being my kids. Thank you for my everyday dose of laughter. You never fail to brighten my day. No matter what people say about me, you, my lovely boys will always be a reflection of my unconditional love and my strength as a mom. You all know better. You are smart enough to see through things. I need not say anything. The affirmation just reveal itself anyways and the people who knows me well can attest to that. ;)


see: 20 blessings and 11 lessons this 2011 (part2)

Disclaimer

I woke up yesterday with this thought in mind. The perspective article have been long waiting to be published. I should have finished it earlier. Now I thought a disclaimer is a better alternative. We cannot control how people see things, but at least we can prove our point.

The blog aims to inform, educate and share. It aims to enlighten too but I do not expect much. For enlightenment only comes to those who have open mind and hearts. It is limited only to those who welcome change and ready to embrace a new life.

I never preached in my blogs. I post favorite quotes or bible passages but I never dare to explain because It was never my intention to stir a debate. I only trust the message as I understood it from my heart. I regard the message as a reminder for me but who knows, somebody might just be needing it too. That's why I share. I'm open to all kinds of faith and I ask a lot of questions but I don't dare create a diversion. After all what's important is we believe that there is somebody up there who loves us and is watching over our every decisions.

If you will read without bitterness, I regard my God as my friend, my shock absorber, my only hope, my only rescue, my adviser and my constant guide. That's what my reflections are for. I do not claim nor use God to portray myself as a good one because all those reflections claims my mistakes in life and how God pull me through it.

I'm not a perfect person but I'm struggling to be one by not hurting others as much as possible. But I won't tolerate people who tries to push me to the limit.

The world doesn't revolve with just one person. My world is too big to share love with. If you feel a pinch in your heart, that means it's a wake up call.

Now the questions below every post is a reminder to those who have been enlightend. Will they act on it or not? Because enlightenment doesn't end with just a thought. It needs action to make it work.

Thank you for the readers who keeps on visiting the blog. I'm returning the favor by giving you more informative and productive activities to do.

God bless you.

Scared to be single?

Top 10 Reasons Why It's Cool to be Single

1. You have more time for God, yourself, your family and friends. This is so true. I had more time to travel with friends, more bonding time with the kids, more time to learn new stuffs like baking and more time to attend church. 
2. You have the absolute freedom to accomplish the things that you're supposed to do alone---your MISSION. Without distractions, I was able to join more charitable projects.
3. You can go out more often to raise God's banner to the ends of the earth. 
4. You can be more open to God's great plans for your life. Yes and more open to God's blessings.
5. You can discover new things about yourself. Haha, more "ME" time! 
6. You can travel the world without depending on someone's schedule. No waiting time. :)
7. You can explore things fearlessly.  No sick partner to attend to or hinder your enthusiasm during physical activities.  
8. You can go out with friends (male/female) without asking someone's permission. I can always meet new friends without worrying for a jealous partner. 
9. You can really prepare for your  exciting future. And I'm always excited!
10. You can be the best that you can be while waiting for your ONE TRUE LOVE. Time flies so fast you'll just know when he's there and you'll just immediately say YES, I'm giving my commitment. :) 

my butterfly is ready to fly away 

Looking back, I remember myself enjoying this kind of freedom without even realizing it.  It's  really nice when you have a mindset different from the crowd. You don't get to be carried away by the wave.  

This is a repost from my friend Apple's blog.  She gave me permission to post this as we have once talked about being single and how it's like to be free. I'm sure anybody who is too dependent on someone will never relate to this topic unless they have the strength to move on and embrace the real benefits of being free and single and if they have the courage to open up to more of  God's blessings. 

Scared to be  single? 

From what feels good, back to what is good

I have a  seatmate from office who is my constant reminder that the path I was trekking was actually the right one. I remember a status I posted on my FB page:

I've been blessed with friends who are really funny, but still, YOU-> dear Lord, got the craziest sense of humor! Imagine me everyday squeezed in between my temptation and a person who reminds me of the path I was once trekking. You got the best timing, as always! :)

It was really a funny set up. The temptation holding my hand the whole time while Apple talks about love and God. Now I realized, that even if my hands were loved the whole time, my attention is still on what Apple has to say because I've been there. I know that familiar feeling of lightness that envelopes me everyday and I missed it. In my heart that's where I want to be.

I was temporarily distracted. I must have been blinded by my mission to share optimism and kindness to a lost soul. I felt I had to do something. I was very careful not to hurt anybody especially a lonely one. I've tried to share the inspirational books I've been reading, the subscriptions on my emails were constantly forwarded to enlighten and inspire, and my good examples as a person should be enough to rediscover life and its goodness.

In the end, however good our intentions may be, there will still be people who will choose to stay on the lonely road. I remember one conversation I had with this person about God and the end of the world. That person said he would rather wait and watch for it to happen than to struggle doing the right thing for in their faith everything will eventually be wiped out. I thought I could lead the person to at least make an effort to do good things but it turns out the person doesn't really care about others. He's not even connected to his family's social network.Or maybe it's not his.

We used to plan on having bible conversations the whole day.  I now wonder how he used to be as a preacher. Bless his soul.

How do you plan on saving your soul?

Taking some "Me" time

Crazy weekend it is!

Aside from my usual "me" time,  I devote time to settle unfinished business. If all goes well according to plan, then its all good. If not, this I pray:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

"Me" time gives me opportunity to listen to myself. What I really want, what bothers me as of the moment, what makes me happy, what confuses me...everything. It's a moment I temporarily let go of my mommy hat, my sisterly duties, my work and my crazy world. It's a time to focus on myself and where I am. It keeps me in touch with myself, it reminds me of my worth and the value I could share to the people in my inner circle.

It's actually a moment to reflect and listen to that inner voice from my heart. That voice Who always know the truth and the right. But most of the time, that voice is drowned by fleeting emotions blinding me from the true light.

That voice is oh so powerful that despite our effort to do things on our own, He still can turn things around for our own good. Most of the time we don't see it. We even take it against Him. His ways may not be what we wanted but He is always right.

Now I can say I've done my part. God will do the rest.
Have you done yours?

When God says No

I woke up with a feeling of realization. I was right all along. All the questions, albeit denied from the truth became clearer and sensible. It was like a jigsaw puzzle slowly falling into its right places. I need not know the details. The bigger picture only shows I deserve better.

A dear friend pointed out that being so trusting can be very traumatic. She even added:

 "ang tinapay (bread), napapanis (gets spoiled). You have to admit that it goes sour (and rotten) most of the time. So there, lesson learned. I just got rid of a rotten soul. You should too."

Thanks dear. My friends give really sound advice even if I don't give details of my private life. Their presence and kind words are enough to let me know they are always here for me.

I always know what I want. When in doubt, I put it on hold. But if I really needed it badly, I would do everything in my power to get it. I would find ways and exert total effort till I can say I've done my part. At this point, it doesn't mean I give up. Instead, this is the point where I lift it all up to Him. Then I just sit and watch.

God loves me. He cracked the egg before I even had a chance to nurture it. Thank you. You are always on time when saving me. I can no longer save the egg, it has not developed well from the very start. I was blinded by my good intentions to bring out the best in this person. But sadly, these kind of people were focused on themselves alone.

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise”- Oscar Wilde

Speak no Evil, Speak no Lie

Love notes are sweet. It makes us feel good on a lonely day. It lifts us up and turn our smile to a brighter one.  It can also take our pain away. So when somebody make up lies about me, I turn to God's whispers.  

God's whispers are everyday love notes that regularly come to my email. The messages are always at the right moment.  When I was younger, I would have already confronted the liar. But time has thought me that there are better ways to deal with it. I no longer act at a burst of emotion. Instead, I take time to look at a bigger picture. Then I let God do the rest because I know His love for me is greater than anybody else.

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I should not speak evil against anybody nor tell a lie that could break a heart.
Have you hurt somebody today?