Trying Seasons

"God can take me now. I know Niniw could handle everything when I'm gone"

These were my mom's last words before she was rushed to the hospital the next morning. She was well and healthy but In a span of 1 week, she's gone with our Father in heaven.

This was the start of a totally different season for me. 

From a mere income contributor, I was suddenly the head of the family. I used to just hand money to my mom and she will take care of everything. Now I am the one who budgets, plans and decides on almost everything. I'm just thankful that I have very supportive siblings who shares with me the responsibilities as we don't want to burden our ageing father anymore. 

Me and my siblings used to just point whatever we want to eat in our Mom's canteen. She can cook 8 different dishes in 2 to 3 hours. We love food and all we have to do is request what we want to eat. Now we learned to experiment on food. Me on baking and my sisters on traditional dishes. 

My routine used to be home-work-play-home when Mom was still around. Now less play as I have to attend to meetings, sideline work and sometimes check ups for our father. 

Mom's passing was the most painful and the most difficult time in my life. It's like our current weather where the rain just seems to never stop. It still move me to tears whenever I remember her. She was the funniest, sweet and tough, cool and smart mom I've ever known. But knowing how strong of a woman she is, I moved on and face the challenges she left for me to take. She is my best example and I want her to be proud of me, her lovely Niniw.

All through these struggles God has been holding my hand to guide and lead me. He has sent me angels in the form of friends and distracters. He taught me to be strong, understanding and patient. And true to His promises, He gave me overflowing blessings.

Several seasons passed and we are still going strong. Still learning and struggling sometimes. But at the end of the day, what matters is how well we have grown as a person all throughout the changing seasons. 

Ella Ganzan

This was written for the Expo Feast Bulletin Reflection. During my Rest days if it falls on Sunday, I write as part of my service with the Creative Media Ministry of Light of Jesus Singapore. I wrote this Reflection as a tribute for my Mom who is celebrating her birthday today, September 26. Though she is no longer with us, her memories and her love for us remain in our hearts.

Happy Birthday Nanay. 

We love and miss you so much.