Monday, October 31, 2011

On making the right choices

Girlfriend and I had the best bonding moment ever. Food trip as usual this time at Peri Peri Charcoal Chicken Dinner, last full show at Megamall, cheezecake tasting at Greenfields then checked in early in the morning to sneak some zzzzzs before shopping for clothes and sandals the next day. I finally killed the curiosity on the buzz about the movie "No Other Woman". 

The movie portrays a realistic view of a complicated relationship where everyone is expected to be hurt in the end. Of course. Every character in the story can be easily related to but it will still depend on who you portray yourself with in the story.

It's a typical love triangle story. Married guy meets single girl. Single girl is out to play. Two consenting adults, what could they lose? "Kiss me, and don't you dare fall in love with me." A clear warning from single girl. The fun continues... then somebody fell along the way. Guess who?

Married guy says: "I wanna take care of you." Then started touching her life and changing it. Remember the moving scene where Ram gave Kara a bed he personally designed as a gift. Pure intentions or not, who made the first move?

When a girl says "don't kill the fun!", that means she's out to play, nothing else. We may never be able to distinguish the guy's intention but the mere fact he made an effort is something to take note of.  It will definitely hit any girl's vulnerability.  Quoting Kara Zalderiaga "a woman only becomes a mistress 'pag may emotional attachment."  So who's at fault when you have been warned in the first place?

So there goes the usual lies, changes in attitude and paranoia. It was like watching a funny film with all the cliche and brave facade both displayed by the struggling characters. In real life, it's not funny when you are in their stilletos. Both are hurt, trying to win a man's heart, trying to find the truth.

Women who don't feel secured tend to do insane things. They stalk, investigate and pretend when all they have to do is ask the right question to the right person and pray. Leave it all to the Almighty. Nothing beats a praying wife. Yes, only praying wife. Quoting Charmaine Escaler:  “bakit ko ipaglalaban ang alam kong akin."

I find this hilarious from Zafra's movie review on what exactly  the movie No Other Woman is saying:

3. Women should humiliate themselves for their men.
3.1. They should engage in public bitch fights in which handbags become metaphors for the man they are fighting over.
3.2. They should invite each other to dinner and threaten to kill the bitch who is boinking their husband.
3.3. If thinly veiled verbal aggression does not suffice, they should have a brawl in a public place.
3.4. It does not occur to them that the person connected to the penis is also responsible for their troubles.

Women are supposed to be loved. We are chased. We do not run after a guy. We don't stalk or follow them. For when women does, it doesn't only emasculate the guys but it humiliates women as well. Imagine looking for a person who's hiding from you, then asking or texting everyone if they have seen the guy. Save yourself some pride.

When Ram and his wife Charmaine stayed in the resort, I was not surprised with that kind of insensitivity. He did not only invite trouble but cracked a big stone on his head as well. It was like from a real life scenario where you're not supposed to introduce your "current" to your so called "ex". What for?

At this point you will know what kind of guy you have in your life. Is he the kind who will follow your whims when you feel like getting even to the unsuspecting party just to prove you or pretend that he is on your side? Is he the kind of guy who will try to harm the girl he promised to take care of  just because his only option is crumbling right before his very eyes? Is he the kind of guy who will stay because he needs you and only you can bear all his lies and fill the emptiness he feels inside or whatever.

Too much love will kill you. It makes us think that the joy we get from loving a person is enough reason to pursue it beyond all reason. A confident woman turned desperate. What to do? I guess all the mess should be fixed with a closure. It takes a real gentleman to face and admit what he has done and a brave woman to accept the outcome and move on with grace and dignity. The movie gave that justification in the end but sadly in real life, it rarely happens.

To end this post I'd like to share this thought about commitment. This has been a struggle to some people to understand and accept. Commitment is not something you ask, beg or force. It is freely given at the right moment and the right time. If it wasn't given, that means the person asking for it doesn't deserve it.
Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments you choose to make... They can build you or destroy you, but either way, they will define you.

Can you keep promises, much more a commitment?

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